5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
