Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
This is classic penis vs brain.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize
