I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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