Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize