Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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