i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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