We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
