I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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