Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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