rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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