The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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