Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I wanna passion pit in your ass
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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