I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
