Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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