then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We don't watch enough power rangers
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize