I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
