and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
