So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
