Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
