i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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