would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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