I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Michael Bay diarrhea
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
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Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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