Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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