Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
