Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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