so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
