Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
the day after is always just damage control
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
