went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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