Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I had to cum in my sink.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
