he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
