What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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