The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
