I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
