i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize