remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
