No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
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