Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
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he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
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I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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