You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
