Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
