**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
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