meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
