Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
