dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Please don't give away my fajitas
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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