somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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