She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
