she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize