How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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