I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
