census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
as a side note pls kill me
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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