Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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