Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
