we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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