just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize