I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
