I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Small penises have feelings too.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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