He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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