it hurts more in the daytime
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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