I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
