I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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