your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
