My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
